Singleness
Driscoll presents some not so good options for Singles that could lead to marrying a non believer:
SIN You say, “I’m going to date an unbeliever.” “I’ll find somebody who worships a different God, or an atheist, I’m just going to sin. I’m going to rebel; I’m going to do my thing.” “God, you’ve not come through for me, so I’m going to take matters into my own hands.” What’s that going to do, particularly for you ladies, is it’s going to harm your relationship with Jesus, and he’s the most important man in your life. And any other man that hinders the relationship with the God-man is the wrong man.
SETTLE You can start with a list of “I want somebody who loves Jesus” to “They’re breathing.” “Check. Alright, that was my list.” We all have lists or expectation of who to date. The key is don’t just have a list for what you want in a spouse; have a list of what you want to be for your spouse. “Here’s who I want to be, and here’s who I’m hoping to meet.” After a while, you start to settle and cross things off your list, right? You’re in your twenties, all of a sudden you’re like—let’s say you’re a woman—“I want him to love Jesus, and I want to be able to follow him as our family leader, and I want to have kids.” And then you hit thirty, and all of a sudden you’re like, “Oh my goodness, well, now I’ve got to check off that he can lead well and that I totally respect him, and I’ll just find somebody who believes in God.” And pretty soon, even that is, “Well, used to believe in God—good enough.” All of a sudden, you start settling. You start lowering your expectations. Don’t do that, have some expectations, and don’t settle. It’s better to be single than miserably married.
STRIVE They say, “I am going to be married,” and it becomes like a full-time job. You go to every Christian dating site. I’m going to go to every Christian singles’ ministry I can find. I’m going to go to every Community Group. You might even dress up like it’s a pageant. You’ll try to put a lot of bait on the hook.
Guys are like this as well. Too-much-cologne guy would be an example, OK? Like, “I am going to get a shirt with buttons, and I’m going to smell nice. And I’m going to go to church, I’m going to be a greeter, and I’m going to meet every woman who comes in the church.” “Welcome”—look for a ring, look for a ring, look for a ring—OK? You’re overdoing it. You’re overplaying your hand. You’re trying too hard, OK? Have you met these people? It’s a little too much. They’re obsessed. It’s too much. Calm down, right? Some people become obsessed. These people run the risk of loving marriage and not their spouse. They’ve got a script, and they’re just wanting to hand someone the lines. It doesn’t matter who it is. God doesn’t call us to just love marriage but to love our spouse.
There is some comfort in the singleness of Jesus who was single and lived a perfect life. His life was meaningful, his life was valuable, his life was purposeful, and his life was single. So, for those of you who are single, there is hope in knowing that Jesus who didn’t sin sexually, had relationships with the opposite sex that were appropriate and friendly but not over any kind of line was single, but he was not alone. He invested his life; he didn’t waste his life. So, if you’re single and struggling with your singleness, know that the Jesus that you’re talking to is a Jesus who understands. He’s a high priest who sympathizes. He’s a single God and Savior who has been where you are and is there to comfort you, to console you, to encourage you, to instruct you, to lead you, and to guide you. (Driscoll)
Hope in Singleness
The Prospect of Singleness: Everyone is single for a season, for some it is short for others it is a lifetime. (Matt 19:10-12). 1 Cor 7 tells us that as single we are to be content and committed to seek and serve the Lord in our singleness. Paul says singleness is a “good” option. He says it is a “gift” option from God. (1 Cor 7:7-8). It is even implied that singleness is a calling of God (1 Cor 7:17) and unless God changes something we are to remain satisfied in Christ and his calling (1 Cor 7:20, 24, 27).
The Purpose of Singleness
God’s purpose for your singleness is to develop your complete undivided and undistracted devotion to Him. Only after you are devoted to the Lord will you ever be able to be devoted to anyone else. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
The Pursuit of Singles
The Single Man’s passion – Pursue Jesus and how you might please Him, rather than pursuing women and how you might please yourself or be pleased by them. Don’t seek a relationship, but seek to be the Godly man that a Godly women is longing for. (1 Cor 7:32-34) 32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided
The Single Woman’s passion –Pursue Jesus and to be holy inside and out. Don’t seek a guy, but seek to become a Godly women that a Godly man longs to meet. (1 Cor 7:34) And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.
The most important decision you ever make is who your God is—Jesus Christ. The second most important decision is who you marry, and sometimes the best decision is not to marry. (Piper) Don’t run into marriage, and don’t run out of marriage. Don’t be hasty, don’t be impatient, don’t be impetuous (Driscoll)